I was on the phone this evening with my mother in law sharing a hilarious story about today’s mishaps caused by my “mom brain” (and my severe lack of sleep). When I finished telling her the story and we both caught our breath from cracking up she said, “that should be a story on a mom blog.” That was just the inspiration I needed to share this wildly entertaining “situation” I faced today. Because, well… I have a “first time mom” blog :-)!!!
I’ve been working from home all week which is an incredible blessing and quite the change of pace from the last few months of work. I find it especially refreshing to be home after a 10 day trip out of state. We’re working on establishing routines and trying to get some sort of normalcy around here. Being home to nurse the baby between conference calls, emails, and studying new material is all I need to ease my heart back into being away from her for 10+ hours a day here in a few more weeks. This morning I was working in the kitchen when Michael and Pickles came down to start their day. I told Michael I had to head down to the office to get some work done and wanted to talk through our game plan for the day. We decided that it would be best to pull some mama milk out of the freezer for Pickles and I could restock our stash by pumping on my commute to the office, just like I normally do.
I wrapped up a few tasks, packed up my bag (pump, lunch, work supplies, etc.) and got ready to head out. It’s important to understand that I have my “normal work schedule” morning routine down to a science. I have found (after lots of trial and error) the most efficient way to get out of the house quickly without forgetting a thing… and maximizing my time with the lady before work! Part of this routine includes hooking up my pumping parts to my boobs before getting in the car. It’s much faster to do this while standing at the kitchen counter than fumbling around in the car before leaving the driveway. Yes, I really do pump to and from work every single day! Although this morning wasn’t a “normal” day… I slipped back into my “normal” routine….just like riding a bike!
Here’s how it went…I put the funnel looking part (technical term: “flange” But that’s too fancy for my taste) up against my boob (technical term: breast.. blah blah blah. At least I refrained from saying tit) and popped on the other part (no idea the technical term let’s just call it the connector) that just presses on the flange. This is absolutely the most important part because it is what plugs into the pump to get the milk flowing. Normally, I would screw on a bottle to the end of each of these connector parts and head out to the car. Today.. I forgot the bottle. Those of you nursing mamas out there are already shaking your head vigorously because you KNOW exactly where this story is going…
So I proceed to grab my 932 bags and strut my happy ass out to the car with my nips poking through this gizmo hanging out of my bra. Look all you want neighbors… I got a baby to feed. This mama is on a mission!
I plugged the pump in, connect the adaptor part to the sucking tubes.. and crank that pup up to full blast. I threw the car in reverse and set out for a quick little jaunt to the office. I felt really proud of myself as I felt a letdown start. I swear I chanted to myself “you’re a BOSS MAMA! Look at you go!!!! Big. Ass. Letdown wooooooo!!!!” When I started feeling my lap get warm.
I looked down to see Niagara Falls flowing mama milk all over my lap. ALL. OVER. MY. LAP. I FORGOT TO SCREW ON THE BOTTLES.
I flipped a U-ie and headed back home. I marched inside drenched in mama milk and announced that this was NOT yet the time to laugh. I changed my clothes. Screwed on some bottles. And cringed over the 2 oz of lost mama milk. We both got a good chuckle because seriously as annoyed as I was with my mom brain, who could resist laughing at a situation like this? I proceeded to send some video chats to a few of my mama milk friends to let them know of my huge blunder. Sometimes… it’s okay to laugh about spilled milk!